Would you buy an app for 4.99 that will text people on your phone anonymously, by generating a random number that they can text back?
I’m working on this, and I’m not sure it’s worth it.
Could be used for prank phone calls messing with your buddy or text messaging people randomly.
Would you buy it?
I’m a DC Comics guy.
DC has Watchmen, Batman: Year One, Killing Joke, Jeph Loeb’s run in Batman, Green Arrow, Green Lantern, especially the Parralax thing into the Spectre thing. Plus select runs of Superman are bareable.
I know the Avengers Movie is out, that’s great. Everyone seems excited. I like the Avengers… when its called Justice League.
If Captain Marvel is in the movie and it deals with the Infinity Gauntlet (no spoilers) and if Jim Starlin wrote it, then I’ll and enjoy it, but Crisis on Infinite Earths is better anyway.
Photoshop?
That’s not Keanu’s body….
Are these Facebook advertisements made by computers or Indian call centers?
“Damn, I feel lazy.
But don’t forget to wake me.
We got this fear of aging.
We’re living in a daydream.”
- Mario Cuomo
The Orwells, signed by Autumn Tone Records.
Note: If I’m home from the Bahamas (and still alive) I’ll be performing tonight at Florida Comedy Club, and tomorrow at a Cancer Benefit in Hollywood. Message me for some free tix if I got’em.
As I leave the Bahamas on a propeller engine airplane, I have one last thing to say,
“I hope I don’t die on this airplane.”
Captain of Industry.
Don’t get drunk at a trade show and then flirt with one of the girls running it. You end up of proof of your stupidity on the website of the show.
Thanks American trade show circuit. You don’t even feel like reality.
Fake friends you see every once an awhile, the same people, all living in this carnival of commerce. It’s America alright, the real America. The real capitalist America.
(insert something deep that resolves all this.)
I’m in the Bahamas today, probably going to get stabbed.
I’ll be performing live tonight at Red Bar Art Gallery in Downtown Miami.
It will be streaming on some podcast if you’d like to here. Show starts at 9pm.
My set list looks like this:
1. Introducing Swag Yolo
2. Brazilian Water Fountain
3. My GF Broke Up with Me Because I’m Fat
4. 2012
5. My Grandfather’s Dead (why I don’t smoke weed)
6. Gangbang Hockey Team
7. Musical Interlude
8. Extra Virgin Olive Oil.
at Coverings in Orlando tonight, somewhere getting drunk with a client or two.
My hotel has special parking for hybrid cars.
Who loves Hybrids?
This girl recorded this song with me (I isolated her vocals and took out mine.)
I laid there nuzzling myself into her hips. Talent is infinitely more sexy to me than anything else.
As she sang this to me, I wanted nothing more than to just lay her back and remind her why we’re on the planet Earth…
This song is called Nature Boy, the best version is by Nat King Cole.
The greatest Disney movie is Lion King.
I’m sure we all agree.
That being said, I always wondered something about the Nala and Simba relationship.
“The pride consists of five or six related females, their cubs of both sexes, and one or two males who mate with the adult females.”
So we had Mustafa, King of the Pride etc, and we have Scar, villian and Mustafa’s brother (cough, Hamlet, cough.)
So chances are… that Mustafa was the one who knocked up Nala’s mom, either that or it could have been Scar, but I think that subject would have been broached if that was the case…
Which explains why Simba was so awkward.
Listen to this NOW.
The Orwells - Feels Better to Fall
“the only time I feel fine, is when I’m dreaming.”
Well written lyrics and a fear of the real world. Feels like something stolen out of my own head.
My little brothers, signed by Autumn Tone Records.
Everyone have an amazing weekend, I’ll be at SpeakFriday’s in Miami drinking some tea and performing some stand-up comedy tonight.
Does anybody else remember Unbreakable?
I’m not going to spoil it but it’s an amazing movie. It’s subtle and dark and you don’t know it’s a superhero movie until almost the end. It’s true perfection. It’s when M. Night didn’t do “The Village” or “Lady in the Water” and was still being called “The Next Spielberg.”
Every once and awhile I look around about Unbreakable 2. A movie rumored to be released in 2012.
(the image unfortunately was taken from (http://smalltownhero.deviantart.com, not from any real media regarding the movie.)
Bruce Willis seemed like he was on board. Sam Jackson seemed like he was on board.
Then I found out that Unbreakable 2 was REPURPOSED for “Night Chronicles.”
So you’re saying that American Psycho gets a sequel starring Mila Kunis and Captain Kirk (yes, it’s real) and Donnie Darko somehow gets a sequel about professional dancing, and with Hollywood trying to vomit any kind of sequel into our faces, and
UNBREAKABLE 2 SOMEHOW DOESN’T GET MADE?
Fuck You M. Night Shayamalan
Fuck You.
Adam Sandler came into my life as an obsession. I would listen to his comedy albums on repeat, and then recount them with friends. Honing my impressions of “The Goat” and learning “Medium Pace” on the guitar to freak out my mom.
“Billy Madison” was easily my first favorite movie and then it was immediately taken over by “Happy Gilmore” then “Waterboy.”
I was under the impression that we’d get a feel-good goofy comedy every couple of years until I died.
More recently, Adam Sandler appears to be testing the “how long can I shit in my customer’s mouths before they stop paying me money.”
But in the middle, he gave us this scene at us, in “Click” in which he died as an absent father who dies rich and disliked by his family. I wasn’t ready to see this. I was expecting a goofy romp through stupidity, not to cry in a movie theater in front of my girlfriend at the time!
Where the hell did “He called the shit poop!” go?
Where the hell did “Stop Looking at me swan!” go?
Fuck you Adam Sandler
Fuck You.
The Orwells are sponsored by Taco Bell and the new Dorito Taco.
After all the money and time I’ve spent in the Taco Bell drive thru at 3am…
They’ve payed me back.
“Look at me, I haven’t done this in 20 years.”
So for twenty fucking years, you’re laying in bed while Charlie’s mother is doing laundry for the whole fucking town to support you.
You give excuses like the floor is cold.
Then, for a tour in a chocolate factory, you jump out of bed and start singing and dancing around. How about getting a job you old lazy fuck.
Fuck you Grandpa Joe.
Fuck you.
